Thoughts on how to kill a church (or just the spirit of the congregation)
Ten ways pastors kill, wound, maim, destroy … both people and churches. These are some thoughts based on personal observations - in no particular order - and not referencing any one particular person. Â
#1 - Have your leaders do almost everything. Tell people that YOU do everything and that no one ever helps with church work. When your leaders want to do something innovative - don’t let them. Or, grudgingly allow it, then publicly berate them (even if things go well). Promise your leaders that something is available/will be done, then tell them they’re foolish to expect it. Don’t meet with your leaders regularly or mentor them in any way.
#2 - Don’t talk to visitors unless you have to. Do absolutely nothing to follow up. Assume they wouldn’t want to come back anyway (why would they?) If there’s something you don’t like about them, speak badly of them after they leave.
#3 - Fight and argue with your spouse publicly. Say terrible things about your spouse from the pulpit, to church members, and to visitors. Tell people what you REALLY think on any and every subject. Tell people what you really think about other people.
#4 - When you’re seeing that someone is upset, do nothing. If you’ve personally insulted or wounded them, do nothing (after all, they should be coming to you). If the person is upset enough to leave, let them - they’re stirring up controversy and strife. If they move to take other families with them, do NOTHING to prevent it.
#5 - Refuse to answer questions. Or assume an air of authority and use lots of Christian-ese in your answer - if you drown them in words they don’t understand, they might just accept what you have to say.
#6 - Make a decision that you know will be unpopular, and don’t tell the people it will affect most. Just go with it. When they ask what is happening, assume that air of superiority when you tell them… but don’t tell them why you’ve made this decision.
#7 - Make a decision. Change it. Change it again. Change it again. Abruptly announce each of these changes as non-negotiables. Don’t explain - you’re the pastor and you don’t need to. If people question the decision, assume they’re trying to take over the church and treat them accordingly.
#8 - Make fun of people at every opportunity, without regard for how they (or others) may feel. Deride anyone you disagree with. Announce that you’re sure that certain people are headed to hell (even if they’re Christians) because their lifestyle is evil (for example, if they have tattoos or they smoke or chew tobacco).
#9 - If you pray for a person and nothing happens, assume there’s something wrong with their faith/their walk with the Lord. NEVER question your own.
#10 - Treat your prayer and devotional life as an obligation meant to be performed when you start feeling guilty enough.
May 31st, 2007 at 4:14 pm
[...] you read “Ten Ways to Kill a Church” here, you might also want to read my expanded version of that article at Associated [...]